I Heard About The Most Elite Fantasy Football League And I Need In More Than Anything

So I spent this past weekend in Charleston for my cousins bachelor party and on Friday morning we got a round of golf in. After the round as we sat at the 19th hole drinking some transfusions and grabbing lunch we started talking about fantasy football since the majority of people there are in the same league. Now, I know. No one gives a shit about your fantasy football team and that’s true. But, that’s not about this. It’s about the most elite league I ever heard of and my desire to be a part of this.

So what is this league? It’s made up of my uncle and his two friends, who have had this league for 36 years now. The 3 of them draft a certain amount of players every week and you only get points for touchdowns and field goals/extra points. Sure, again, who cares? What makes it so great? The winner of each week gets $2 from each person, which they send in the mail.

These idiots are out here mailing checks for $2 each week and I’m pretty sure single-handily keeping the postal service in business. I couldn’t love it more. I’m not one that likes change. I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch pretty much every day. I don’t go crazy to try and see new movies or shows because I’m scared of trying something new. The fact they have yet to make one change to this league is the best. They refuse to let other people in, they refuse to up the stakes. It’s perfect.

You know, I’d get a quote from one of them to find out even more about this league, but there’s 0% chance they’d ever respond to a text and would probably put their quote on a hand written note to send to me via USPS. It’s so weird to not be a millennial.